KiDs…

At times parenting sucks. Sound harsh? Maybe, but true just the same.

First theres the whole payback thing. Where you get to remember constantly what an asshole *you* were, while your child is now the one being the asshole to *you*. And in some lucky cases your parents get to constantly remind you that you kinda deserve all the shit the kids are throwing at you, because you did it to them.

The Teenager is fighting with his best friend. Jake is the first friend he made when we moved here and they have been inseparable ever since (nearly 2 years.) They are now fighting and at this red hot moment the friendship has been destroyed. It’s sad. I happen to have a soft spot for this kid… he calls me Mom and I have done nearly as much for him as my own son at times.

It’s very hard, as a mother to sit back and watch. You can try like hell to squeeze in some words of wisdom, but they don’t really hear you. You wish you could make them understand all the tough life lessons you have gone through and learned the hard way over the years. You want to shout and maybe shake them at times, so that you can stop them from making that one mistake that costs a friendship forever. Or that one fight that gets them suspended from school and usually ends in grounding (depending on the circumstances). Its a whole vicious cycle. And all you can really do is watch and pray that you have taught them right. That maybe one day it will all click and they will hear your voice in their head.

I know my parents words come back to haunt me almost daily. The Girl called my Mother the other day and was telling her how mean I am and how she is never, ever going to treat her kids so badly. She is going to let them do what they want and make sure they are happy.. blah blah blah. My Mom laughed so hardly she nearly peed her pants and said “Your Mother said the same thing about me and now you are saying it about her!” The girl got flustered and hung up.

Arguments with friends are the least of the problems in today’s world, sadly. I try to have a very open relationship with my kids and I try to share (some things, not all things of course…) and teach/support what I can. The world around me, scares me at times. A debilitating type of fear that I am sure nearly ever parent feels.

I have my own demons and triumphs and I know my kids will have theirs. But at times it sucks and I know this is just the beginning. I had my son when I was only 17 and I do *not* regret it in anyway, but at the same time I do NOT want that for them. I was one of the lucky ones. I had supportive parents (not at first mind you) and a happy ending. Not everyone is so lucky.

I won’t even get into the arguments that the Man and I have about the kids. That in of itself is another issue that can be exhausting. He tends to defend the Girl and I tend to defend the Teenager and the little guy isn’t as much of an issue *yet.*

I am sure many of you can relate in one way or another. Thanks for listening me to ramble. Back to work I go.

Tagged as: parenting, teenagers