unFreaking Believable

I think I have mentioned it before but I have had more than my fair share of tickets. More than  I care to admit actually. Gah.

I was only living here two weeks when I got a ticket for speeding. I was sick with a fever and the Man should have been out picking up the teenager not me, so it’s his fault.

On my way down to my Parents for Christmas I was pulled over. He was going to give me a ticket for “tail-gating” but he didn’t. Instead he cited me for not having proof of insurance.

I guess it is bad when you are at the bank to open a new business checking account and then teller asks you for your license and your 6-year-old pipes up with “Mommy is pissed because Daddy’s license says safe driver and she gets alooooot of tickets and has to do driving school!!” Pfft, whatever, he’s six what does he know.

But seriously this is now a joke around here. How the MAN has “safe driver” and somehow I get all the tickets. Let me tell you, without telling you his business, how he hasn’t always had safe driver so it does drive me a little CRAZY. Pisses me off in fact. Anyway moving right along to today.

We ate dinner at Hooters. Which by the way – they embarrassed the shit out of the teenager for his birthday, it was sooo FUNNY. They made him put paper cups on his nose and mouth and shake his arms while 12 or so of the girls sang to him and made him stand up in the front. Funny shit.

On the way home, the Man was driving and talking. And there was Mr. Motorcycle Cop that pulls us over. I am secretly thinking to myself “that bastard is finally getting a ticket this time, ha!” WRONG. Karma.

The Man is speeding and I got the freaking frucking ticket! How you ask? Well I didn’t have my damn seatbelt on and so he cited me a $77.50 freaking ticket!  UnFreaking Believable I tell you! And the kids were great the whole time while they were shouting from the backseat “Another ticket? Mom always gets the ticket! Always!” The cop even made me get out of the car so he could lecture me.

Yea, yea I should have been wearing it and usually I do but thats so not the point. The whole way home I had to hear “Thank god you got the ticket and not me. I haven’t gotten a ticket in so long, thats why I am a safe driver.” I wanted to punch him right in the face. At least it doesn’t carry points and I don’t have to do more driving school.

And to top it off I called my Mom to tell her and she is reciting what I am saying to my Dad as she is talking to me. See, I admitted to not having my seatbelt on so my Dad was mad. His words of wisdom go something like “You never admit it, never. You’re Italian, eh, not anymore you aren’t – you should know better.”  What do you even say to that? Clearly it explains why I have issues ;) The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree they say.