Crazy Follows the Insane

I really need to blog more frequently, I have been a bad blogger! I have been working, working, working so now I can catch up, finally!

Random situations from the past couple weeks:

The Teenager [15] and his friends were out front playing basketball. At one point I saw his friend tackle another friend and throw him to the ground. I didn’t think much of it…

Later, the Teenager comes to tell me why they were fighting. Apparently one of his friends said I was a “MILF” [I hope you know what that means,  I don't want to say it - my Mom reads here haha ;)] Now, in a really twisted way that is a compliment LOL [I know, I have issues]! My son wasn’t amused by my being amused, it just made him more angry.

Am I the only sick-O here? Would you be amused or offended? Then Man just thinks I’m nuts, nothing new there ;)

*****

I love my dog. But, NOT when he bolts out the front door [which is rare] like he did the other day. Screaming T-E -Q-U-I-L-A on the top of my lungs wasn’t working.  The Girl was trying to get him and he was running circles around her. I finally jumped in the car to go grab his ass. I finally get him in the backseat of the car – the Girl reaches over to slam the door shut and slams the tip of his tail in the door!

The poor dog is crying, I am screaming to open the door and this little old man is watching us the ENTIRE TIME. He waves me over and I drive up next to him – out of breath, stressed out… He looks at me and says, “Are you from Chrysler?” Are you freaking kidding me? Do I look like I am from Chrysler with everything you just witnessed??? Rendered speechless for a moment I replied “No, Sir” and drove away shaking my head.

Speaking of my loving dog… I was on the phone talking to my sister walking from the kitchen [tile] to the living room [carpet] when he flies past me and causes me to spin around and land right on my ASS. Just then the Girl says, “Why are you doing gymnastics in the house Mom? I’m not allowed!” No, really, I wish I made this shit up.

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The other day the little guy was trying to find his friends phone number. After several attempts to call him he was convinced he had the wrong number [I tried to tell him their number was disconnected, but what does Mom know]. He looked and looked and looked some more, completely frantic but couldn’t find his number.

After twenty minutes or so he walks up to me with one hand on his head, a very dramatic tone and he opens this little tube and pulls out this little white thing and says “I need to take my calm pill!” Ok then, I think he is really watching me way to closely. Had he said Xanie I really would have fell off the chair. Ok, maybe you had to be there.

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My Mother-in-Law took ALL THREE KIDS for the weekend (rare people, very rare). The Man and I went out for a nice lunch/early dinner the first night. Watched some movies, relaxed. It was great. Saturday night my Dad called to tell me my Aunt’s husband died. She lives 10 minutes from me so we rushed over there to check on her.

Apparently she got home from work and saw him at this computer and didn’t think anything of it. A couple hours passed and she showered, cooked dinner and called his name. He didn’t reply so she went to check on him. He was dead.

I was there when they rolled him out in a body bag… Autopsy showed he died of from a heart  attack. Apparently he had congestive heart disease and never knew because he hadn’t been to the doctor in the 17 years that they were married. He was only 63.

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And that my friends is another crazy peek at my life. School is back in session on August 20th, right before I turn 33! What a great start to my birthday week!

If you read until the end of this post - I now know “You like me, You really Like Me!” ;)