I’m a Flasher!

by Insomniac on June 8, 2007

in Dumb ASS

I took the Girl, her best friend and the 6-year-old to our pool yesterday. We were there for about an hour when I had to use the bathroom. So, I  put my book down and wrapped a towel around my waist and headed off to the bathroom.

On my way, I noticed a man give me a weird look while his wife gave me a nasty look. Whatever. I get into the bathroom and see my left nipple is sticking out of my bathing suit. I was so embarrassed I wanted to stay in the bathroom!! 

Along with being extremely embarrassed (but owell, shit happens, right?) I started to get slightly annoyed. I understand the Man giving me a weird look (he’s a man, what can we expect?). But the Woman to give me a “dirty” look?  I mean, had I been walking around in a thong with my ass all jiggly I would be giving me dirty looks too – but my nipple is hanging out and she doesn’t think to maybe tell me? Or start tugging at her own bathsuit so I would look down. You know, like when you wipe your nose to let someone else know they have a booger. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when the woman wouldn’t “spare the square.” What happened to helping a girl out?!

As the 6-year-old would say, “what a jerkhead!” Go ahead, laugh at me.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

bibi June 8, 2007 at 9:54 am

Oh, my gosh! I remember jumping into a pool once and my whole top came off. Luckily, one of my girlfriends pointed it out as it floated accross the pool. That woman was probably thinking you did it on purpose or something. You know, just for her man. Well, if I were there, I’d have let you know.

Joyce June 8, 2007 at 12:16 pm

Too funny daughter, only you, I love you.

Chrissie [Insomniac] June 8, 2007 at 3:00 pm

Thanks Bibi, glad to know you would have my boob back ;)

Mom, I forgot all about that incident LMAO. So, its all HIS fault that I am a flasher!

Belle June 8, 2007 at 9:14 pm

I’m not laughing at your expense….that would be stressful for me! Having said that….my ta-tas are so large and my nipples are so sensitive I don’t think there’s any way I could have one hanging out and not know about it! The woman was just giving you a nasty look because she was obviously jealous!

Chrissie [Insomniac] June 8, 2007 at 9:25 pm

It’s okay Belle, you can laugh at me ;)

I do NOT have large ta-tas that’s for sure. But my nips are usually sensitive too which is why I was so shocked it was hanging out and I hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was the heat, yea, that’s it lol.

gabrielle June 10, 2007 at 8:41 pm

Welp, if that were me, the lady would have nothing to worry about because after three kids, breast feeding, and age, I look like a sence from National Geographic. lmaooooo!!!!
Poem just 4 U !
It’s okay, your boobie wanted to play.
If there was no sun to shine.
your boob would not have had a great time.
So, just sit back and relax.
The next time you go to the pool, hold your breast high you are no fool! (No more bathing suit wardrobe malfunctions}
{Yea… I never said it was going to be a good poem}
Luv Ya!!!!

Chrissie [Insomniac] June 10, 2007 at 9:17 pm

LMAO, thanks for the poem. Just call me Janet Jackson ;) Love ya back.

tasha June 11, 2007 at 9:22 am

I’m sorry I have to laugh *don’t hurt me* :P That would so happen to me seriously. If it makes you feel any better last week I was walking around my job and the airport with a huge tear in the ass of my pants and not ONE person told me!

Cindy June 11, 2007 at 12:57 pm

LMAO – only you my dear only you!!!! I needed a good laugh, and the thought of your reaction in the batheroon, knowing you the way I do, was even funnier than the infraction itself – Love you much!

Chrissie [Insomniac] June 11, 2007 at 3:58 pm

Tasha, I could never hurt you! Ok, I feel slightly better, but not much ;)

Cindy, you do know me quite well, lmao. It was something to be seen I must say ;) Love you too.

Friglet June 11, 2007 at 4:39 pm

That bitch was giving you a dirty look because she had nipple envy. ;)

Ask Lucid June 11, 2007 at 9:23 pm

It is so relieving to be able to laugh off the embarrassing moments we experience in life. I am glad to see you are able to joke and move on. Some people hang on to their embarrassments, and it in turn makes them sick.

Lucid

Cindy June 12, 2007 at 11:08 am

Leave it to Lucid to get philisopical over a nipple !!!!

Ask Lucid June 12, 2007 at 10:42 pm

Hmmmm.. Are you making fun of my words of wisdom???? For it is not of the nipple but the core feeling of embarrassment no matter what the cause, and the knowing of how to work your way throught its dark merky waves.

Lucid

Loretta June 14, 2007 at 9:22 am

She was mad cause her man was looking at your boobie and not hers! LOL I hate it when people aren’t considerate enough to say, “hey you, fix that!”

catraggedy June 22, 2007 at 8:08 pm

Look – ANY woman should realize how easy that happens. I’m constantly having a “boob check” to make sure everything is in place.

It happens. What a beetch.

Chris June 29, 2007 at 8:23 am

Heh. Too bad I wasn’t around. Just don’t pull a Britney and forget to wear underwear while getting out of cars, okay?

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