Overall, my inlaws aren’t as bad as some and most people would happily trade. For one, they don’t care to be around (this would be a plus to some) but to me it’s frustrating. The kids don’t understand but I am happy the less I see of them ;)
Just before Thanksgiving we had a very *heated* argument with them. I am over my MIL more than I can tell you. I refuse to defend myself any further and quite frankly don’t care what she thinks. For the most part we always got along. While she did make her little comments I was able to ignore them even if they did irritate me. This fight in particular was based largely on her telling me “to get a real job and stop playing on the computer.”
Depending on how well you know me, you may not know how PISSED I was. And it is not the first time she has said it or the first time we fought about it. Mind you, the argument was more detailed than that but to sum up a big portion of my part in it – that one comment did it for me.
To insinuate that I don’t “work” because its from home and not traditional to her views is insulting at best. The state of FL sees me a corporation, my lack of sleep from working 50+ hours isn’t because I am playing bingo and the bills aren’t being paid with monopoly money… to say that I don’t work is CRAP and a big load of it. I make *more* money than I would if I was to step out and get a “real job.” Whatever. She knew when she said those words to me that it wasn’t going to go over nicely and surely it didn’t, nor was it the first time. I got off the phone with her. It is far better for her to fight with her son, than with me, in my opinion. I will say that thank god I have a Husband that did stand up to her.
Trust me when I say this is the extremely short version. I have bit my tongue as far back as my wedding day when she was an asshole but.. I digress. Why am I bringing this up now if it was back in November that we fought? Well, because my niece’s birthday party is on Sunday and my SIL is putting on the guilt that we have to be there. To make matters more complicated my niece just underwent surgery so the guilt is huge. Most people that know me, also know I operate on guilt, but I hate being put in a corner.
The thing is, I really don’t want to see my MIL in particular. But it’s not about her, it’s about my niece. The Man doesn’t really want to go and he’s fine with not going. He’s not all that close with his sister so I don’t think he cares. But I feel bad because its not my niece’s fault for all the chaos. What to do, what to do… it sucks. I told the Man I would go with the kids since he doesn’t want too. I just don’t freaking know. If it was “for” my MIL like hell would I go. While I say I will go alone – I am full of shit, if he doesn’t at least go with me I might have to kill him ;)
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
this makes me soooo happy i don’t have inlaws anymore! *hugs*
(hug) My advice, which, as always, is worth what you pay for it (grin)… go to the party, both of you. Smile, nod, say the right things, and refuse to play her game. I have an arsenal of little statements I use when dealing with people like your MIL, who sounds similar to my former MIL: “How nice for you!” “Oh, that’s interesting.” “Really? Wow!” The best thing ever is to look her square in the face directly after she has insulted you and completely change the subject while smiling brightly, without acknowledging a single thing she just said. You will love the confused look on her face. She’s totally in this thing for the reaction she gets out of you, so don’t give her what she wants. :)
I agree, if you go then he needs to go! I have a good set of inlaws, especially this time around, but they get on my nerves sometimes, too. Of coruse, we’re never invited to anything having to do with my husband’s nieces or nephew, so that isn’t a problem. It kind of bothers me that the other grands get treated better, but then again….they are the blood-related grandkids and mine are steps. And my husband isn’t too terribly close with them, either.
I feel for ya!
And I get tired of people telling me to get a ‘real’ job, too. But then, I have a teenagerish job….p/t retail cashiering. But hell, it gives us extra $$ and I don’t have to shell out for daycare or worry about my kids being home alone.
Thank you guys! He *is* going with me, I don’t think he would dare send me alone ;) I think he knew without my saying he wouldn’t be getting any for a loooong time lol.
Thanks for the advice! The day she said it to me, I hung up without telling her where to go was *hard* but I know it just made her more mad.
I have to say that I am a MIL but I try my hardest not to interfer in everything that goes on in my childrens life. I had a MIL like Doris Roberts on Raymond. I have made a pledge to myself and my daughters not to be like her. My daughter could tell you nightmares about her granmother, but we won’t go there. I do a pretty good job that my SIL always wants us to come and visit.
So always remember that you might be a MIL some day and try and be patient and loving to your extended family because you will get it back. I try and do the best I can and enjoy my SIL and my grandchildren, and my children. Have a great day to all.
Wanna know why I chose to open ‘Bella and work from home? Because if I was to go out and get one of those so-called “real” jobs I would pay more in childcare costs than I would be making probably. People who are older dont understand the internet I dont think. Grrrrrrrrrr!
Argh, sometimes in laws can suck – especially one who thinks you don’t work. But, her views sound pretty antiquated to me. Are you gonna go? or not?
Well that sucks. Some people don’t think before they speak and end up hurting/pissing people off in the process. I hope he goes with you. I am lucky. My MIL is usually pretty cool. She occasionally will say something she shouldn’t but she’s 70 y/o and I don’t see her changing anytime soon.
That is very good that your husband takes up for you… something that my ex would never do.