My Mommy came to visit this weekend and the Man was nice enough to take the kids to the beach yesterday so we could have the day to ourselves. We had a *great* time talking, shopping and eating. Fast forward to later that evening.

My Mom, the Teenager and myself went to return something to Walgreens and play lotto. He was taking foooorever in the store. He finally emerges, face red with embarrassment and says, ”Thanks Mom, these weren’t bought at Walgreens, they are from CVS and I looked like an IDIOT!” Oops. Kind of funny if you think about it ;)

In other news, I am still waiting on my results. I went down Friday and picked up the report, since my damn doctor couldn’t be bothered to call me. I don’t entirely understand it, of course and I am frustrated. And Google is just making me crazier… I need to stop reading. Is it too much to ask to want to know what the hell is going on?!

Still not used to this new version of WordPress. I still have 12+ blogs to update and I am not so sure I want too. I am determined to get caught up on work. I have enough stress without worrying that I am not making deadlines. I need a vacation, or a bottle of wine, or both. Something, anything. I know, I sound crazy. I am.

I took the Girl, her best friend and the 6-year-old to our pool yesterday. We were there for about an hour when I had to use the bathroom. So, I  put my book down and wrapped a towel around my waist and headed off to the bathroom.

On my way, I noticed a man give me a weird look while his wife gave me a nasty look. Whatever. I get into the bathroom and see my left nipple is sticking out of my bathing suit. I was so embarrassed I wanted to stay in the bathroom!! 

Along with being extremely embarrassed (but owell, shit happens, right?) I started to get slightly annoyed. I understand the Man giving me a weird look (he’s a man, what can we expect?). But the Woman to give me a “dirty” look?  I mean, had I been walking around in a thong with my ass all jiggly I would be giving me dirty looks too - but my nipple is hanging out and she doesn’t think to maybe tell me? Or start tugging at her own bathsuit so I would look down. You know, like when you wipe your nose to let someone else know they have a booger. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when the woman wouldn’t “spare the square.” What happened to helping a girl out?!

As the 6-year-old would say, “what a jerkhead!” Go ahead, laugh at me.

The Girl and Teenager were arguing over a late dinner last night. I was sick and exhausted after just getting home from a long weekend at my Parents. When this convo took place:

[Me] It’s like I never left.

[Man] Stopping to stare at me before asking “Why, what were you expecting?” 

[Me] I don’t know - maybe that everyone wouldn’t fight. Or that things wouldn’t be so chaotic around here. I don’t know really…

[Man] Wow, babe, you had high hopes. I think your car went through the twilight zone on the turnpike.

[Me] Laughing so hard I choked on my diet coke… the Teenager pops up with “Hey, Mom, can you do my tarot cards tonight so I know what my day will be like tomorrow?”

To which all of them start laughing their asses off - because making fun of me is the only thing they can do together without arguing.

Seriously though, what the hell was I thinking? Maybe I did drive through a twilight zone. I called my Mom to tell her and she laughs this little laugh and says “Yea, I did that once too. I went to New York and for some stupid reason thought something might be different when I got back. Nope, not so much.”

That my friends is an example of the craziness that is my life. But, I did have a good weekend. I saw my Sister and the Kids, had lunch with my Brother, lunch with my best friend and her baby, got a pedicure with my other best friend and lots of shopping and time with my Mom & Dad. 

The teenager has been setting his number to private and crank calling me from his cell phone. PAIN IN THE ASS. He did it the other day and I busted him when I accidently brought him into a phone call while I was talking to my cousin about him and didn’t realize I connected the calls. So, today he was doing it AGAIN and I busted him again.

In the meantime my Sister calls me and tells me she changed her phone number because some “whack job” was crank calling her for over an hour. Yep, you guessed - it was my damn son. Kinda funny and yet not. I mean, I wouldn’t have changed my number that fast but she is the impulsive one while I am the worry wart that festers ;)

To top off my day, since he was prank calling me under private and my sister’s number was showing up “private” all day - at one point I answer and say “What?! What do you want?” And why of course it was NOT my son or my sister. But of course one of the Man’s new customers. Real professional I know.

The only thing worse then sunburn is PEELING.